To everyone who's been emailing us about buying TALKINGCOCK THE MOVIE and SINGAPORE DREAMING DVDs, we're told that they are now SOLD OUT in most DVD stores. Please ask your retailer to restock them. As a practice, distributors act only when they receive reorders from retailers, and retailers only seem to want to stock the most current or foreign titles. Sorry, we don't have the resources to run an online or mail order store, so PLEASE BUG YOUR DVD SHOP! Thanks for your support!

Need to email us? You can reach us at: talkingcock@gmail.com

Still On Hiatus... Posted by Big Cock on Tuesday, May 26, 2009 (635 reads) Topic: Community Announcements

Hello Cocksters, Just a note to let you know we're still on hiatus working on our new top-secret projects. Pai seh. Looks like Singapore is damn exciting at the moment - got terrorist captured, got feminists fighting... we feel damn too lan that we're not at the frontlines making wu liao jokes. But boh pian. These new projects demand our attention. But we really hope to be back in action soon. Stay tuned! In the meantime, if you need some solid entertainment: Click on the pic below and check out our good friend JOE AUGUSTIN'S PODCASTS! And buy the updated pow-ka-leow edition of our COXFORD SINGLISH DICTIONARY! Time magazine calls it "the perfect Singapore souvenir" and "a must buy"!

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What If Star Trek Was Set in Singapore? Posted by Big Cock on Tuesday, May 26, 2009 (4683 reads) Topic: We, The Citizens

The new ‘Star Trek’ is not bad leh! How come kilat sci-fi stories are never set in Singapore, ha? WHAT IF STAR TREK WAS SET IN SINGAPORE?

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Annals of the Dragon King: THE XXX-MEN: REAR-GUARD ACTION Posted by Big Cock on Tuesday, May 26, 2009 (3605 reads) Topic: Diary of the Dragon Prince

Barry muses on mutants in this instalment of his highly unbelievable, completely fictitious and totally imaginary diary.

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THINGS THAT ARE MAKING MAS SELAMAT TOO LAN By K.K. Cheow on Monday, May 11, 2009 (9207 reads) Topic: Local News

Now that Master of Disguise Mat Alamak/Masi Lemak/Mat Salah,Mat has been captured, we wonder what's going through his mind. He must be si peh too lan. But about what? Here's a list of Things That Are Making Mas Selamat Too Lan:

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Breaking News: Local Animals Worried About Zealots Taking Over SPCA By K.K. Cheow on Sunday, May 03, 2009 (9923 reads) Topic: Local News

Editor's note: Hello cocksters, we're still on our hiatus, tending to our mega-projects, but this piece of news was too important not to share: Animals in Singapore are expressing worry that rabid religious fanatics might soon attempt to take over the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

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Differences Between Swine Flu and Bird Flu Posted by Big Cock on Sunday, May 03, 2009 (4608 reads) Topic: We, The Citizens

So many different animal-related illnesses! How to tell the difference, ha? We hep’chu with a handy checklist…

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TalkingCock Hiatus Update! Posted by Big Cock on Sunday, March 29, 2009 (1620 reads) Topic: Community Announcements

Dear Cocksters, We’re still on leave! But we thought we’d bring you some new material that we’ve been providing to 8Days in the posts below this message. Work on our top secret new projects is moving along, but it’s too siong for us to return so soon to a daily schedule for TalkingCock. We do apologize for this, but mana ooh pian? In the meantime, do check out our brand new, pow-ka-leow, updated edition of the COXFORD SINGLISH DICTIONARY now on sale everywhere! To keep up-to-date, sign up for our mailing list: Join the Mailing List Enter your name and email address below: Name: Email: Subscribe Unsubscribe Get your Free Mailing List by Bravenet.com Or: sign up for our RSS Feed by Clicking Here! See you soon! Exercise free speech - remember to keep Talking Cock! - The TalkingCock.com team

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讲鸟话: Some Chinese poems from a contributor... Posted by Big Cock on Sunday, March 29, 2009 (8886 reads) Topic: Poet's Corner

Here are some Chinese poems from a contributor. Being complete keng chio kias, we see oreddy, all catch no ball, so are just presenting them as they were sent to us:

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SIGNS YOUR DOG MAY BE SOMETHING WRONG Posted by Big Cock on Sunday, March 29, 2009 (7097 reads) Topic: We, The Citizens

We just saw that movie, ‘Marley and Me’, about a really cute but troublesome dog. Piang eh! If only we could tell how leceh a dog is before adopting it… To help you, we’ve come up with a list of SIGNS YOUR DOG MAY BE SOMETHING WRONG"

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TOP JOB HUNTING TIPS Posted by Big Cock on Sunday, March 29, 2009 (6551 reads) Topic: We, The Citizens

With redundancies hitting historic highs and jobless grads flooding our streets, here’s a helpful list of TOP JOB HUNTING TIPS:

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SIGNS YOU’RE GAMBLING AT A HALF PAST SIX CASINO Posted by Big Cock on Sunday, March 29, 2009 (5609 reads) Topic: Business

So with the horrible job situation, what are we Singaporeans counting on to save our economy? The casinos! Yes, it says something about the uncertain times we live in that our best hope involves gambling. But how do we know if our upcoming casinos will be any good? We got together a bunch of habitual gamblers to come up with this list of SIGNS YOU’RE GAMBLING AT A HALF PAST SIX CASINO:

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STUFF THAT GOT LEFT OUT OF EDISON CHEN’S NAUGHTY VIDEOS Posted by Big Cock on Sunday, March 29, 2009 (8151 reads) Topic: The Arts

So the Edison Chen circus has left Singapore. We donno about you, but those leaked vids of his with various Hong Kong starlets made us wonder what bits were edited out… So in the absence of evidence, we did some speculating: STUFF THAT GOT LEFT OUT OF EDISON CHEN’S NAUGHTY VIDEOS:

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UPCOMING MOVIE SPOILERS Posted by Big Cock on Sunday, March 29, 2009 (4563 reads) Topic: The Arts

Watched the Oscars last week? Got all excited during the end credits when they showed all those clips of upcoming films? Too pok kai to buy tickets and too impatient to download? Dun scared! We’re here to save you time and money with this list of UPCOMING MOVIE SPOILERS:

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TALKINGCOCK TO GO ON LEAVE Posted by Big Cock on Sunday, February 15, 2009 (2206 reads) Topic: Community Announcements

Dear Cocksters, From today, TalkingCock.com will be going on an indefinite hiatus. No, no, it’s not because of the economy or because our CEO bought donno what condemn US bank stocks. (We got no money to buy in the first place, so also neh lose money. Heng ah!) It’s because we need the time to focus on some upcoming MASSIVE projects. Over the past year, we’ve had to take breaks of a couple of weeks to tend to them, but now the projects have reached a stage where we have to devote all our time to them. The last time we took such an extended hiatus, we came up with our multiple international award-winning film, Singapore Dreaming. This time, our projects will be even bigger and more spectacular, and we are confident that when we finally unveil them, you’ll be si peh surprised. We can’t tell you more than that at the moment, because names and agents are involved, and things are still sensitive. Sorry, hor. All our chao lawyers will allow us to show is this little picture: So we apologise for this interruption in your daily dose of Singaporean satire, but if the news is cock enough, and we’re itchy backside enough, we might just come back and whack something. So please check in on the site every now and then! To be notified of any new postings or updates, please join our special mailing list below: Join the TalkingCock.com Mailing List Enter your name and email address below: Name: Email: Subscribe Unsubscribe Get your Free Mailing List by Bravenet.com Or sign up for our RSS Feed by Clicking Here! We won’t be totally absent from the scene – in a few weeks, our fabulous, pow-ka-leow new and completely updated edition of THE COXFORD SINGLISH DICTIONARY will hit the shelves of bookstores nationwide. It’s got hundreds of new entries, special features, and even funnier examples. So please support and pick up a copy! Also, for those of you who can still find copies at your local DVD store, please buy the DVDs of both TalkingCock the Movie and Singapore Dreaming. We hear they’re completely sold out, so please bug your DVD retailer to reorder. Our distributor won’t reissue until they receive orders from retailers. We also want to strongly encourage you to buy the DVD of the Rock for Wayne concert now available at HMV, Borders and all good music stores. (They're not good music stores unless they carry it!) The immensely talented, big-hearted and adventurous Wayne "Thunder" Seah and his equally kilat bandmates in the Boredphucks and the Suns were always great friends and supporters of TalkingCock, and we're still feeling like the world is a sadder place without Wayne in it. This DVD features songs and footage from the star-studded benefit concert held in 2007 to commemorate his untimely departure from this earth. So please - if you value local indie talent and sheer balls - BUY THIS DVD! For more details, you can email justinmroy@hotmail.com Thanks for all your support the past 9 years, and for the coming months. If you need to email us, you can still do so at: talkingcock@gmail.com We hope we’ll see you again soon - maybe sooner than you think! Good luck with the new economy! Exercise free speech - remember to keep Talking Cock! - The TalkingCock.com team

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SINGAPOREAN VALENTINE'S DAY CARDS Posted by Big Cock on Thursday, February 12, 2009 (7687 reads) Topic: We, The Citizens

VD is on this Saturday! And this year, we're proud to bring you

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