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Towkay: I Have No Choice But To Promote Relatives
Posted on Sunday, June 23, 2002
Topic: Business

by Kampong Kway

CEO of corporate mainstay Lum Par Holdings Datuk (Honoris Causa) Choe Seng Lee shocked shareholders when he announced today that he has decided to promote his relatives to prominent executive positions for 'the greater good'.

When asked what 'greater good' was being served by the appointments, Datuk Choe replied, "The greater good of the family, lah! Arbuthen?"

Some of the Choe relatives being promoted include:

- Dr. (Honoris Causa) Choe Boh Lan, who will be the new Head of Recreational Strategy. He relinquishes his appointment as Head of Poster Girl Recruitment.

- Dr. (Honoris Causa) Choe See Mee, who will be promoted from Vice-President of Rubber Stamping to Senior Vice-President of Cheque Signatories.

- Dr. (Honoris Causa) Choe Ho Boh will be the new Head of Junket Research and Testing. He returns from his Ph.D purchasing ceremony at the Fullerton Hotel. Earlier this year, he also acquired a Master's Degree in Sleeping from Curtains University.

- Major-General (NSF) Choe Ah Mee, will be the new Director of Tombola. He comes to Lumpar from the Singapore Armed Forces, where he was Commander HQ White Horse

- Tan Sri (Honoris Causa) Choe Boh Hoe will assume the post of Vice-President of Relaxation. Tan Sri Choe is rumoured to have been headhunted from his house in Queen Astrid Park, following a strong recommendation by his mother that he 'get a job'.

"I know, lah," said Datuk Choe. "Some people will think promoting relatives is nepo… nenepok… nepotisi… kelong. But this is business, and we have to face the facts that there is a dearth of talent."

"We must remember that talent is not something that can be developed or inculcated," said Datuk Choe. "It is something that we are born with. And there is a greater possibility that my relatives share my genetic ability to succeed more than common riff-raff."

When asked about an earlier ill-fated bubble tea venture headed by Dr. Choe Boh Lan which cost Lum Par severely in shareholder value, Datuk Choe scoffed, "That's not fair to blame him just because he's the boss. When governments do wrong things, do you blame the cabinet? Surely not! You should ask: who really made the decisions? Was it the committee? The board? The auntie-auntie who serves coffee? Surely not Boh Lan. He was too busy at the KTV launge. But he made some decisive moves after the debacle to fire some underlings. Now that shows real leadership."

Datuk Choe also reminded shareholders that one shouldn't be prejudiced against an director, just because they are related to the ruling family.

"Look at me," he said. "I rose to my position as CEO the old-fashioned way. Inheritance."

Datuk Choe also announced that he is considering stepping down in a few years' time, and occupying a minor post on the board, such as President.

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