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POSSIBLE ‘LITTLE NYONYA’ SPINOFFS
Posted on Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Topic: The Arts | 
by Nyonya Kway
So Channel 8 soap ‘The Little Nyonya’* has ended, and apparently 1 in 3 Singaporeans tuned in to its finale.
Seow leow! That’s more than the number of people who vote in our elections! How come lai dat?**
Anyway, with such a runaway success, MediaCock must already be planning spin-offs. We speculate on what they might look like: POSSIBLE ‘LITTLE NYONYA’ SPINOFFS
1. The Dark Nyonya: by day, a Peranakan SPG, by night, she strikes fear into the hearts of criminals with her cincalok recipe
2. The Chronicles of Nyonya: the Bibik, the Bitch and the Buah Keluak
3. Casinonya Royale: Yueniang returns to Singapore for a mahjong smackdown
4. I, Rojak: the adventures of Yueniang’s offspring with their Japanese-Peranakan-British-and-later-got-donno-what-else blood
5. Nyonyas of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Kebaya
6. Lord of the Huangs: the Two Towkays
7. I Nyonya Stupid: Jack Neonya directs this tear-jerker about a mute schoolgirl who’s caned for failing her oral exam
8. Jurassic Peranakan: Scientists at Biopolis unleash horror on Singapore when they engineer dinosaurs from bird DNA found in bird’s nest sold by Yueniang.
9. Kung Fu Pantun: Pierre Png resurrects his Malay poem-spouting character, but this time as a silat expert.
10. You Don’t Mess With the Nyonya: wait she tie your hair tight-tight like her bun then you tzai si.
*Technically, as the child of a Japanese and a Nyonya, that would make her a ‘Nipponya’.
** It’s not like we can really understand what it means to have Chinese-Malay-Japanese history and suffer a lot but have to act dumb about it. Not to mention choosing the rich ang moh lawyer over the local dude you really love. Just saying only, lah.
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