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WHAT SINGAPORE WAS LIKE IN 10,000 B.C.
Posted on Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Topic: We, The Citizens | 
by Nyonya Kway
Seen the new prehistoric movie where the average caveperson speaks better Engrish than the average Singaporean? Well, that got us thinking about what our own country might have been like way back then, we mean waaaaaaaaaay back then...WHAT SINGAPORE WAS LIKE IN 10,000 B.C.:
1. Every young man must undergo M.S. (Mammoth Service).
2. Caveman gets ‘stern warning’ for putting up wooden cutouts of white mammoths during tribal leader’s walkabout.
3. People falling victim to pyramid schemes, except involving actual pyramids.
4. Tribal leader gives incentives for all cavepeople to have three kids before they’re thirteen.
5. Favourite dish of tribe: Hainanese terror-bird rice.
6. Many tribesmen worry that they don’t have enough savings in their Caveman Prehistoric Fund (CPF) to retire, and will have to hunt mammoths even in their old age.
7. Tribal leader says necessary to import more Cro-magnon talent for tribe’s survival.
8. Got pain that time, rub the affected area with saber-toothed tiger balm.
9. Trog invents wheel. Tribal leader now wants to collect payment every time wheel passes by his cave.
10. Tribe wins bid to host Neanderthal Olympics in 9,998 B.C.
11. Starting next moon, tax on Giant Saber-tooth Tigers (GST) raised by 2%.
12. Tribal leader’s kid tells you to get out of her elite, uncaring cave.
13. Enemy captive somehow escapes when allowed to go to the manure pit.
14. Tribe puzzled that tribe leader says he eats mammoth with hum.
15. Going sheeming very dangerous because of the saber-toothed Merlions.
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