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Gahmen Publishes List of Penalties for NS Defaulting
Posted on Sunday, November 20, 2005
Topic: Local News | 
by Pak Cham Kai
After criticism for allowing a renowned pianist who pontang-ed his NS to get away with a mere $5000 fine, the Gahmen has published a list of penalties in the interests of encouraging quitters to return.
“The list is a mere guideline,” said Ministry of Defensiveness spokesman Lieutenant Colonel S.K. Ping. “All returnees will be evaluated on a personal case-by-case basis, but these rates can give you some idea of how we value our citizens.”
LTC Ping justified the decision to allow pianist Melvyn Tan to return to Singapore with only a minor fine after dodging his national service duties over 30 years ago in order to further his musical career.
“We must take a broader view of what constitutes national service,” said LTC Ping. “Impressing ang mors by playing obscure early Romantic classical music on the fortepiano should count as having done the nation some service. Let’s face it, playing Debussy or Schumann in a way that doesn’t immediately put people to sleep is a lot more siong than running to touch some faraway tree and running back. And for people who can’t contribute their education, connections or money, well, it’s only fair that you pay with what you have. Which, for most people, is pain.”
LTC Ping also emphasized that being a musician did not necessarily mean that one would get lenient treatment, as Mr. Tan did. “A few months ago, the court sentenced a fairly accomplished guitarist to nine months in DB because they felt he was just a twang king.”
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