Cock Logo
Talking Cock

Singapore's Premier Satirical Humour Website
HomeNews Columns Features Forums Dictionary About Us
News
Local News
International News
Politics
Business
Sports
The Arts
News in Briefs
Community

Columns
Annals of the Dragon King
Dear Ah Beng
We, The Citizens
Alien Talent
Another Day in Paradise
Art with Fatt
Lim Peh Ka LI Kong
Poet's Corner
Inerviews
Louie Chin Ooh Lui
Travels with Auntie

Features
Comix
Coxford Singlish Dictionary
Chio Kao Bank
Games
Lion City Living
Special Cock Stuff
The Cock Shop
The Tampenis Book of S'porean Records Karaokway

Things To Do
FAQ
Top Stories
RSS feed
Stats

Check Out

Who's Online
There are currently, 43 guest(s) and 0 member(s) that are online.

You are an Anonymous user. You can register for free by clicking here.

Check Out

Check Out

  
Extremist White Elephant Network Uncovered: Police
Posted on Sunday, September 11, 2005
Topic: Local News
Local News
by K.K.Cheow

While investigating who placed placards of white elephants outside Buangkok MRT during a Ministerial walkabout, the Singapore police believe they have uncovered a network of extremist elephants bent on dominating the region.

According to ASP Chia Sior Eng, “We were acting on a 999 call about some placards of white elephants being placed on a road divider outside Buangkok MRT which had been suspiciously timed to coincide with a visit by a Cabinet Minister. As you know, 999 calls are not made except in emergencies, and making a Minister feel uncomfortable is a real emergency in Singapore, and we felt we had to take immediate action.”

ASP Chia dismissed criticisms that conducting such an investigation was frivolous and meant only to intimidate people from exercising their legitimate right to protest. “Yes, people have a legitimate right to protest, but they must do so in legitimate ways, without breaking the law. Exhibiting posters without permits is illegal. And if we allowed it, that would open the floodgates. People might start carrying placards and standing outside government agencies, or organize petitions or concerts, or make short films about opposition politicians or donno what, and these things would lead to riots, public disorder and inconvenience for the Gahm… I mean, people. If people wish to air their grievances, there are clearly established channels for them to do so which do not affect public order, like writing to the State’s Times Forum page, where you must submit your IC and editors can edit letters to make things more palatable, or seeing your MP who can help you write a letter to the relevant authorities, who will then provide you with very good reasons why your feelings are unjustified and why what they are doing is absolutely correct.”

ASP Chia continued, “In any case, our concerns were vindicated when our probe into the white elephant case revealed something far more insidious: that a network of extremist elephants were operating underground to conduct criminal activities in Singapore.”

According to the police, they have detained several elephants for questioning, including some living and working in the Singapore zoo. They are believed to be part of a group called Jemaiah Gajahbesar, who wish to establish a pan-Asian elephant state.

“We believe the white elephants at Buangkok MRT were studying it in preparation for a terrorist attack of some kind,” said ASP Chia.

The case has apparently been referred to the Internal Security Department, as “who better to investigate elephants in white than men in white.”

The Gahmen has asked citizens to remain calm, and not impute the actions of a few bad elephants to all elephants, many of whom are fine, upstanding contributors to Singapore society, like Sharity the Elephant, or Moses Lim.

Said Prime Minister’s Orifice spokesman Mr. Gerry Mandhir, “We want to emphasise that in no way are we singling out the white elephant community in Singapore for attack or scrutiny. Why, our recently installed president is a white elephant himself. Actually, he’s more of a brown elephant, but… aiyah, you know what I mean, lah.”



© http://www.TalkingCock.com 2001-2003. All rights reserved.
(If you're circulating this by email to your friends, please include this attribution. It's only polite, leh!)


Click here to mail story to a friend

 
Related Links
  • More about Local News
  • News by Big Cock


    Most read story about Local News:
    Ngee Ann Poly Student’s Sex Video Not as Popular


    Related Singlish words
  • ACTION  
  • CAB  
  • AK  
  • CURI  
  • GAHMEN  
  • HOR  
  • LAH  
  • LOOD  
  • MAI  
  • MAIN  
  • MAT  
  • WHAT  
  • TUA  
  • TERROR  
  • SIO  
  • SIAN  
  • POK  
  • POR  
  • GER  
  • LI  
  • LU  
  • TIO  
  • STER  
  • KING  

    Printer Friendly Page  Send this Story to a Friend

  • "Extremist White Elephant Network Uncovered: Police" | Login/Create Account | 8 comments
    Threshold
    The comments are owned by the poster. We aren't responsible for their content.

    Re: Extremist White Elephant Network Uncovered: Police (Score: 1)
    by crucio on Friday, June 23, 2006
    (User Info)

    I had a look at this and it is very interesting.I do love this Post.

    [ No Comments Allowed for Anonymous, please register ]

    Re: ANNALS OF THE DRAGON KING: Vanity Plates (Score: 1)
    by replicawatches on Friday, November 27, 2009
    (User Info) http://www.watchestrde.net

    replica watches Discount Watches, Fashion Watches, Wristwatch, Fake Watch, Wholesale Watches, Jewelry Watches, Replica Jewelry Watches. In Fake Raymond Weil Watches 1830 Louis Victor and Oris Ladies Watches Pierre Ebel Replica Watches Joseph Concord Watches Replica Celestin Baume established the Society Baume Freres commencing http://www.watchestrade.net/ the passion for quality Fake Bulgari Watches watches Replica Panerai Watches and Fake Omega innovation Franck Muller Fake Watch that Michele Wristwatch continues today, Replica Jacob & Co. in Patek Philippe Watches Replica 1855 the Fake Breitling Watch Girard Perregaux Replica Watches Baume Breguet Fake Watches Brothers Fake Mont Blanc Watch moved to Richard Mille Ladies Watches the Jura Mountains region of Baume & Mercier Watch Replica Switzerland, Fake Movado Watches in 1920 replica watches the trading IWC Ladies Watches name was born Baume & Mercier Fake Louis Vuitton in Replica Piaget Watch Fake Chanel Watch Geneva. Cartier Fake Watches The watch Technomarine Mens Watches ranges have Rolex Replica grown over Jaeger LeCoultre Replica the Replica Porsche Design Watches years to include the Riviera, the Christian Dior Replica Watches Linea, Hampton, Rado Watch Replica Catwalk, Capeland, Milleis, Fake Bedat & CO Watches Spirit, Fake Emporio Armani Watches City, Vice Versa, Maurice Lacroix Watches Chopard Replica Diamant, replica watches Classima Tissot Replica Executives TAG Heuer Replica Watch and Replica Blancpain Watch Replica Glashutte Seiko Watch Replica homage to William Corum Wristwatch Baume in a collection of limited and Fake Audemars Piguet Watch Replica Roger Dubuis Watch numbered edition timepieces Swiss Army Mens Watches that Parmigiani Replica Watches combine revisited tradition Swiss Watches Replica and timeless Longines Watch Replica elegance.

    [ No Comments Allowed for Anonymous, please register ]

    Re: 60th Anniversary of Universal Declaration of Human Rights (Score: 0)
    by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 07, 2009

    RS goldEve onlineWorld Of Warcraftworld of warcraft goldEve online iskeve onlineworld of warcraft goldWorld Of Warcraft Gold

    [ No Comments Allowed for Anonymous, please register ]

    Re: 60th Anniversary of Universal Declaration of Human Rights (Score: 0)
    by Anonymous on Wednesday, July 01, 2009

    Fire Tao Spell Guide Lineage 2 Tears of Fairy Drop Final Fantasy XI Weapons:Cross-CountersFinal Fantasy XI Crafting:Behemoth DaggerArchlord Quest:Warrant

    [ No Comments Allowed for Anonymous, please register ]

    Re: 60th Anniversary of Universal Declaration of Human Rights (Score: 0)
    by Anonymous on Tuesday, August 04, 2009

    Runescape goldwow goldWOW GOLDworld of warcraft goldcheap wow goldGuild wars moneyEve online isk

    [ No Comments Allowed for Anonymous, please register ]

    Re: ANNALS OF THE DRAGON KING: Vanity Plates (Score: 0)
    by Anonymous on Monday, December 21, 2009

    replica watches Discount Watches, Fashion Watches, Wristwatch, Fake Watch, Wholesale Watches, Jewelry Watches, Replica Jewelry Watches. Louis Vuitton has affirmed itself over Replica HandBags the past decades Replica Handbags as a world Replica Handbags leading Fake Versace Handbags brand name in the Prada Handbags Replica fashion industry. Louis Replica Louis Vuitton Chanel Handbags Replica Vuitton Marni Bags Replica is now the symbol of elegance Prada Handbags and refinement. AH Bags Timeless Replica Loewe and prestigious, Replica Louis Vuitton Watches has constantly Yves Saint Laurent Handbags evolved and adapted to Replica Handbags become Replica Handbags Juicy Couture Handbags Replica the world Replica Handbags leader Replica Wallet Bags Replica Chloe in luxury. The replica Louis Vuitton watch is Loewe Replica Handbags not only a replica Replica Handbags Replica Handbags watch, Replica Versace Bags but also a piece of art. Chanel Bags Replica Wearing Thomas Wylde Replica it Miu Miu Replica Handbags on Replica Handbags Versace Bags Replica your wrist and Fake Christian Dior Handbags the clicking Replica handbags Replica Handbags Prada Bags Fake Loewe Handbags sounds Replica Yves Saint Laurent Bags remind you Replica Handbags replica watches the Fendi Replica eternal time replica watches flow. The Louis Replica Coach Bags Vuitton Fake Yves Saint Laurent replica watch take over Mulberry Bags the style of the original edition and show the exquisite fine work form inside Chloe Handbags Replica out. Each watch is made under the Replica Giverchy Bags highest Miu Miu Handbags product standard and best quality guaranteed. You Replica Balenciaga spend less but enjoy more.

    [ No Comments Allowed for Anonymous, please register ]

    nike outlet (Score: 0)
    by Anonymous on Tuesday, January 12, 2010

    I like.
    ugg store
    ugg boots store
    Replica watches
    discount ugg boots
    UGG Classic
    nike outlet

    [ No Comments Allowed for Anonymous, please register ]

    Re: Extremist White Elephant Network Uncovered: Police (Score: 1)
    by abercrombie on Friday, February 05, 2010
    (User Info) http://www.abercrombiefitchstore.com

    Abercrombie and Fitch JeansAbercrombie and Fitch Jeans

    Abercrombie and Fitch PantsAbercrombie and Fitch Pants

    Abercrombie and Fitch TeesAbercrombie and Fitch Tees

    Abercrombie and Fitch ShortsAbercrombie and Fitch Shorts

    Abercrombie and Fitch SweatersAbercrombie and Fitch Sweaters

    Abercrombie and Fitch OuterwearAbercrombie and Fitch Outerwear

    Abercrombie and Fitch HoodiesAbercrombie and Fitch Hoodies

    Abercrombie and Fitch PolosAbercrombie and Fitch Polos

    Abercrombie and Fitch ShirtsAbercrombie and Fitch Shirts

    abercrombie and fitchabercrombie and fitch

    abercrombieabercrombie

    abercrombie hoodiesabercrombie hoodies

    abercrombie jacketsabercrombie jackets

    abercrombie sweatersabercrombie sweaters

    abercrombie jeansabercrombie jeans

    abercrombie t shirtsabercrombie t shirts

    abercrombie saleabercrombie sale

    abercrombie and fitch clothingabercrombie and fitch clothing

    abercrombie clothingabercrombie clothing

    abercrombie mensabercrombie mens

    abercrombie womensabercrombie womens

    abercrombie outletabercrombie outlet

    hollisterhollister

    Ruehl No.925Ruehl No.925

    hollister clothinghollister clothing

    [ No Comments Allowed for Anonymous, please register ]




    All logos and trademarks in this site are the property of their respective owners.
    Except for comments and forum messages which are the property of their posters, everything else is © 2000-2003, TalkingCock.com, All Rights Reserved.
    This web site was based on PHP-Nuke, a web portal system written in PHP and modifed by TalkingCock.com. PHP-Nuke is Free Software released under the GNU/GPL license.

    Web site powered by PHP-Nuke Web site using PHPBB IntegrationApache Web ServerPHP Scripting Language

    Click Here to Pay Learn More
    Amazon Honor System