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POET’S CORNER: AN ODE TO NATIONAL SERVICE
Posted on Sunday, May 29, 2005
Topic: Poet's Corner

Here’s a poem contributed to us by an angry NSF. Eh, brudder, dun so angry, leh… look: NS brought out the poet in you! Not so bad, what…

An Ode to National Service

Native, born on native soil
Raised till eighteen, made to toil
To defend a tiny land
That’s the Singaporean man

On enlistment, BMT
Sergeant scold your family
Meet your Encik, CSM
The company’s stupid man

They’ll take you into a room
One man over many loom
Then you must prepare to swear
For this island always wear

Colour green and nothing more
Admin, PT and smart 4
They will strip you to the core
Fear not you’re the nation’s whore

They’ll give you a gunnysack
Change you into vest and slacks
2 years of your life they’ll take
You to hell until you break

Be prepared you new found dog
They’ll make you wash and unclog
Urinals and other stuff
2 years are more than enough

In this life you’ll never find
Better times to lose your mind
Welcome whore and please don’t cry
You’re already sworn to die

And now for the real training
So what if it’s still raining?
During war is there Cat. 1?
Dog, don’t ever lose your gun.

Learn to march and learn to sing
Songs that do not have meaning
But don’t stop or wonder why
You’re an idiot now green guy

Brains don’t work in this army
It runs in Lee’s family
Meet your rifle, your new wife
She’s your friend, your foe, your life

Strip her tenderly with care
Or sergeant will screw you there
Here’s your SBO and helm
You’re now warrior of the realm

Honor, pride and glory be,
Bring this country harmony
Smelling like a mad wild boar
Dolled up in your goddamn 4

In the bus or up a train,
People may smell and complain
“Chow peng kia! They’re so smelly
All the botak so ugly.”

Hang in there don’t be let down
You’re protector of the crown
Sergeants you must look up to
All the training they’ve been through

They KNOW they have seen the world
To them you’re a baby girl
Like lions they are inside
They’re just pussy cats outside

Think that SISPEC made you good?
Come on let’s try prison food
All these street smart wannabes
Grew up eating mommy’s peas

Educated know all jacks
That is why they’re all called SPECS
Think a sergeant’s hard to be?
Wanna come try RTC?

Yes you’re somebody down here
Recruits look at you and fear
Grow up! Naïve simple man
In this army brains don’t stand

PC! PC! You’re a Sir
Back in JC you’re a blur
Born with glasses nerdy whore
Never seen the world before

Mostly from rich families
High class bastard wannabes
Given a commissioned rank
All the sex you know is wank

Well-to-do here on this earth
Riches given you at birth
Those who get to OCS
They think they’re the very best

Poor forlorn misgiven soul
Life’s about mommy’s control

Now about the Regulars
These guys think they’re the coolest
Smart 4 hanging in the car
Trying to show off a bar

This lame dot is green enough
More green doesn’t make you tough
Living off the taxpayers
They’re fantastic soothsayers

“I swear to die for this land
I swear to serve useless man
My life I put down for thee
But for now you must pay me
Give me more off and flexi
Please grant me rank and money
I swear I am not a fake
I’ll choose death and won’t forsake
My tag may make me a dog
I love to suck CO’s cork
I am but a simple man
Live and die just for my land”

To them NSF are dogs
Idiots meant to do shit jobs
Given to fulfil a cause
Treat them like you’d treat a horse

Overworked and underpaid
We don’t blame it on our fate
We are proud to serve this land
Obeying unfaithful man

We must salute officers
All commissioned regulars
We address them all as Sirs
Just amazing, these soldiers
Instilling a sense of pride
Hunks that for this land would fight
They look so fierce in smart 4
So fierce I can’t wait for war

Wish I were the enemy
Catch all officers I see
Chain up all these cheap dog whores
Make them do NSF chores

Without taxes what are you?
Life would not be green but blue
Stuck with Japanese Hondas
Never Continental cars

Next are Majors and Kernels
At the top are Generals
Men so great we seldom see
Living life exclusively

Years they spent serving this land
Dogs, oops! I meant moral man
Talented at golf and darts
Handing out donation cards

“Give or sign extra duty
You are aiding charity”
So we donate once or twice
Call us stupid we’ve no choice
But at the end of the day
Who’s the one who gets to say

“All this happened ‘cos of me
I’ve done proud for charity
I’m Kernel of my country
Funds were raised because of ME!”

Strange, more cards just keep coming
Why do they keep on giving?
Do they think we work for free?
One month we make 350!

Wonder if they donate too,
Wonder where the funds go to.
NSFs we take the shame
We donate, they get the fame

What is this atrocious sham?
Do they have pride left in them?
For the high ranks you receive
Blow jobs many you did give

I’m sorry but ain’t it true?
Sucked until your face turned blue
Which army in history
Controlled by a nerd sissy

Would sign rubbish and then claim
“See! SAF helps the lame!”
Why O such a shameful act
Do you not know fake from fact?

If indeed you are so nice
Why not give us back our lives!
You take and you use us well
Parading your sun burnt hell

Doll us up in green like fools
Make us carry heavy stools
While your offices they sit
On their sofas and repeat

“I now go for my tea break
Heard officer mess got cake.
After you finish the chairs
Help me mop the floors and stairs
Go my office later on
Help me turn on the air con
Later I got visitor,
Boh pian, I am officer
Work so hard and earn so less
Still must buy my girlfriend dress
4k one month where enough?
Always chiong sua siebeh tough
Save so little in the bank
Hope to faster up my rank.”

Are these really commanders?
Are they really our warriors?
Could one ever imagine,
If in war how we would win?

“Think of the Japs!” they would say
“How they bullied us one day.”
Yes ‘tis true, the Japs were bad
They came and took all we had

Murdered, raped and pillaged too
This took place in World War II
Listen you stupid Army,
That was all in history

Move on, don’t rake up the past
Your own nation filled with lust
Look at all the sluts around
Hanging round boat quay and town

See Mohd Sultan too?
Whores down there dance till they’re blue
Defend women from the foe?
Prove it find a virgin hole

All our girls been fucked before
No such thing a virgin whore
How they sleep around at night
For a rich boy they would fight
Any fat ass take to bed
Once they see his Evo 8
The things they’d do for money

Hand jobs, blow jobs, sodomy
Beg your pardon, defend these
Women from the Japanese
Worry they get gang raped and
Made into comfort women

Why defend or fear to fall?
Japanese men are so small!
Half way through Occupation,
They’d turn to masturbation

Even before they invade
Our whore would have a parade
Freely blow the enemy
Let them screw cheaper than free

When our soldiers take a snooze
Town would be filled with love juice
Why do we take up this cause
Fight for freedom or for loss
Of the virgin pussies here

Find one and I’d gladly cheer
At least I’d have reason to
Serve this small dot like a fool

Long 4, rifle, SBO
Splitting image of bodoh
Guard this island of the seas?
We need guarding from the Lees!

Loving westerners so much
Against us locals – have a grudge?
If not for this surname Lee,
We won’t have to serve army

Place where nerds have a say
Nerds who make us pay and pay
On the world map this country
Beautiful as it may be
Is but just a tiny worm
Even smaller than my sperm

Taxpayers! Why face such scorn?
Specially those with male born
Open your eyes wide and see
Your son’s 2 years in army

Saluting like he’s a jerk
People who cannot find work
Proper jobs that they won’t need
Taxpayers upon whom they will feed

Support peasants that’s one fact
But against your son they’d act
If he’s caught when he chao keng
By these government ah bengs

Futures they have very far
Dream of Porsches in their Kias
Why support such ill ingrates?
Men who dress and act like apes

They’d make Privates, Corporals, Men
Sai kang warriors of the land
Dogs that we are for this land
Thus the woes of NS Men.

This contribution was slightly modified from the original to cover our ass. Sorry, hor! We’re too chicken to deal with defamation suits! Pai seh! Pai seh!

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"POET’S CORNER: AN ODE TO NATIONAL SERVICE" | Login/Create Account | 32 comments

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Re: POET’S CORNER: AN ODE TO NATIONAL SERVICE (Score: 1)
by Flashgalaxy on Tuesday, May 31, 2005
(User Info) http://www.geocities.com/flashgalaxy

We are all puppets, all in the same sick play. NS puts us at a great disadvantage.